sweat, slags, and a superstar Severance sighting

We woke up to another heat wave morning and then headed out into the sunshine towards Waterloo station for our bike tour with Punk Rock Emily. We got to the Fat Tire Tours storefront where Emily was corralling a group of mostly Americans and getting bikes for everyone. She spotted me and we exchanged a sweaty hug before she helped us find our own bikes, which were labeled with names like “Billy Idol,” “King George II,” and “Lord Voldemort” (mine).

I took the spot right behind Emily as we cycled towards the London Eye, chatting as we went. Emily stopped to tell us a funny story about a failed marriage proposal on the Eye, which I had actually just heard last week while waiting for her in that same park and overheard another tour guide. My dudes immediately enjoyed her meandering storytelling as much as I do, with Bill later remarking that it’s like she’s the color commentary announcer for the world, always narrating and evaluating and adding her own whimsical insights.

She took us onwards to Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and the Horse Guards building which, thanks to her British accent, one of the Americans was convinced she was saying “House Guards.” I did enjoy how much Emily still blithely used all of her normal incomprehensible slang and I antagonized her greatly by calling her a “slag” in front of the other Americans, sure that they would have no idea what I was saying. That was the case though she was hilariously mortified. And, as usual, with her overwhelming love of animals, we had to make an unscheduled stop to see some giant pelicans.

While we waited for the rest of the group to go take photos of the guards at Buckingham Palace, Emily awkwardly handed me a battered envelope with “sorry for the shit envelope” scrawled across it. I opened it up to find three dusty vintage London postcards with a sweet cheeky message from Emily, beginning with her congratulating me on being the recipient of London’s oldest postcards. She called me “totally bonkers” and “filthy” and also a bunch of genuinely kind things in the message spread across the three cards which, in true Emily fashion, she numbered in the wrong order. She also gave me a bottle opener with the opener part serving as the head for a voluptuous woman’s body clad in a Union Jack bikini and fishnet tights.

We cycled onwards through Hyde Park with a stop at the same Serpentine Cafe where Emily and I had our first meet-up, the Serpentine Gallery where we saw an art exhibit together, and lastly past the very trapeze rig where we first met. I joked that her tour was an accidental relationship retrospective for us. But then she took us somewhere I’d never been: the Diana Memorial Fountain. It’s like a lazy river where the water flows in a shallow circle and into a calm pool, and on a hot day like this it was mobbed with happy kids. Ben did a round through the whole thing and then just as we were exiting the gate back to our bikes, I recognized a ten-year old girl there named Mathilda.

For privacy purposes I’ll vaguely say that I officially met Mathilda and her dad a few weeks back far from this part of town, though I had known them in passing for much longer. I had introduced myself to them because I overheard her dad Max’s American accent and we had a conversation about California. His wife hadn’t been there, so today when I met her she was curious about how I knew her daughter. I explained the connection and she was delighted because she was there with a friend who shared the same connection, and then I asked her name, and she said Dichen. I smiled and acted casual before turning around to look at Bill and the boys nearby and started whispering “SEVERANCE” as I approached them.

As soon as I saw Bill’s sudden look of recognition, I turned back and approached Dichen to say, “can I ask, are you on Severance?” and she smiled and said, “yes.” By this time Bill and the boys had caught up and I gestured at them to say, “well, we are some of your biggest fans. We all watch it together and it’s one of our favorite shows ever, the kids love it!” She was taken aback that the boys themselves are so into it, and I seized on her friendly vibe to ask if she wouldn’t mind if we took a photo with her? She generously said yes and her friend took the picture. We exchanged friendly goodbyes and then hopped on our bikes to follow Emily, with me whispering to the boys, “DO NOT freak out until we are one block away.”

As soon as we had rounded the corner we all completely freaked out. It was the absurdity of first the coincidence of my recognizing Mathilda in a random context and then the further coincidence that Dichen is her mom. Later on Bill googled more info and it turns out that the husband, Max, is an actor as well and played Zava on another absolute favorite of ours, Ted Lasso. We just could not believe that two of our favorite shows, both of which we’ve watched many times in London, have married actors who we’ve now met in London. Even more absurdly, through this connection, it’s totally possible that we’ll see either or both of them again in our remaining time here.

We rode that high through the remainder of the bike tour, which amused Emily because she had no context for the show or the actor, but was very happy for us. We rode back to the starting point of the tour to return our bikes, where Emily burst into tears about my departure and commenced the most endearingly messy goodbye as she simultaneously attempted to wave me off in embarrassment and hug me tight. It was like watching a human implosion. I told her to hug Tiffany for me and she promised she would, then ran out. So my dudes and I headed out into the peak afternoon heat to the M&S food hall I had been to last week, where we all got delicious things for lunch to bring back home.

Our tube ride was hot and crowded, with the addition of a boisterous school group in their traditional uniforms despite the heat. You really know you’re not in San Francisco when girls are required to wear skirts and patent leather shoes and the boys are comfortable in shorts and sneakers. Of course Ben still had the energy to run home from the station, and when we met him there we sat down for our M&S lunch buffet. Then we all did our best to cool down: Ben flopped onto our living room bed in the dark, Bill took a shower, and I dunked my hair braids in cold water to successfully replicate my cooling strategy from last night. James headed out for his first ever round trip tube ride to a music school near Baron’s Court where his best friend Selim was playing a few songs with his band.

When he got home we had M&S Indian food for dinner (yes, you’re correctly sensing an M&S theme) and then sat down to watch a movie which we all ended up disliking – “Jerry & Marge Go Large,” none of us recommend. Fortunately we chased it with some great episodes of The Simpsons. We’re working our way through lots of remaining food in our house, so I defrosted a couple slices of cake (yes, M&S) and the boys made some progress on one of the Dandelion chocolate bars Alene brought us. Which was cute because I was also texting with Alene and getting some beautiful shots of SF views from her office there. After buying some State Fair tickets online now that it’s July, I’m really beginning to feel the strange sensation of being in two places at once.